Forgive and Forget

Men and women are always playfully arguing about which sex is the "stronger" sex. If we're to believe Pat Robertson, it is women. Now, my fellow women, let's not get ahead of ourselves; this is merely an interpretation of what he's saying, because apparently women are to blame for everything that men do wrong, therefore, we are obviously much more in control = we are stronger. Before I continue, I would like you to watch the video below:

"Males have a tendency to wander..  what you wanna do is create a home so wonderful, he doesn't want to wander."

Yes, your weakminded pig of a husband cheated on you because of *your* shortcomings. If only *you'd* been a better wife, he wouldn't have had to resort to cheating. It is not *he* who is the wrongdoer here, it's you. He is, after all, just a man, tempted by the porn industry and naked photos of women everywhere. Poor him.

You wanna know something? If your husband cheats on you, and you can't forgive him: leave him. If you can't forgive this ultimate act of betrayal, then don't. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness, and you shouldn't be forced to compromise your integrity. Eventually, for your own sanity, you should "let go", but it doesn't have to be *with* him. You can let  go apart from him, to make things with your kids easier, and also to relieve yourself of the negativity, but don't feel like you have to sacrifice your own self respect to save your marriage after *he* ruined it.

What pisses me off here is not just the fact that a man cheated, but how it's handled. Husband cheats on wife, wife is blamed for not fulfilling his needs, and told to use positive thinking to help her "get over it". She is ruining her own marriage by focusing so much on it. It's her fault. If a woman were to cheat on her husband, guess who's fault that'd be? Yes, the woman's. She is a Whore of Babylon, she should be stoned to death, how could she do that to her family, to her children, to her poor, poor husband who's always been such a wonderful man, giving her everything etc. Women can't win. We are always to blame for everything, including the shortcomings of men. Take responsibility for your own actions: if you cheat, it's your fault. Not your husband's, not your wife's, not the man or woman you cheat on your spouse with, it's YOUR OWN FAULT. Your decision, your fault. I don't care what's wrong in your marriage, I don't care if your spouse is to blame for every other problem you have (why didn't you leave, if it's so intolerable?): what you decide to do, with your own brain, using your own body, is you own decision, and therefore it is also YOUR OWN FAULT. Women, stop blaming your husband; if he's such a scumbag, you just sound more pathetic for staying with him. Men, stop blaming your wives; the Eve in the Garden of Eden story is getting old. Remember: when you blame others, you give up your power to change.

Fools of Facebook

If nothing else, Facebook has at least made me realize how many complete and utter IDIOTS exist in the world. I mean really high class idiots, where even normal idiots go "DAMN, now THAT''S stupid idiot!" I don't necessarily mean my own facebook friends (although if this offends you you're probably an idiot.. or maybe if it doesn't offend you, you're an idiot because you don't realize this is supposed to offend you. Deeper than deep right there.) No, what I mean is all the pages that share funny/quote/"deep"/random images. Not the images themselves; the comments! Oh lord, the comments. I mean, can we just take a second to fully appreciate the wonderful endless source of mind boggling, nail biting, toe cringing, tragicomic entertainment that is the comment section of Facebook images. Now, I've always been a fan of comment sections everywhere, especially on YouTube where internet trolls have free reign, and it's just a great place to feel better about yourself, knowing that in so many places around the world, there are people making you look infinitely better simply by existing (WARNING: it will, however, make you feel horrible about the intellectual state of the world population.) The comment section on Facebook images is just better for 3 reasons:

1) Facebook has so many users (You'll never run out of material)

2) The comments tend to be much longer (Not the typical derogatory terms or "I'm gonna kill you")

3) Profile pictures (you get to see the people behind the words! I think this is probably the best part of it!)

There are innocent comments, like the ones on funny pictures that random funny people write, and we all laugh at in the blissful funness of it all. It's when you get to the more "serious" pictures (or videos, for that matter), that things get interesting. Take the subject of abortion vs. adoption in the case of rape, for example. I don't care whether you're against it or not; if you're a decent human being, you're not going to force a rape victim who ends up pregnant to keep the child if she doesn't want to. To me, that's a given. To many other people, it isn't. "It ain't that child's fault" or "The child can't help that she got raped" or "GOD WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN". One lovely argument for prohibiting abortion, even in cases of rape, is that "there are so many people that can't have a child who'd just love to adopt." Well you know what? There is no shortage of children to adopt. Why exactly do you want to force a raped woman to keep the offspring of the man who defiled her? Because we all want wombwet newborns. Not the older children. I'm not a big fan of quotes, but I must say I liked this one:

"The emphasis has changed from the desire to provide a needy child with a home, to that of providing a needy parent with a child." - UN Commission on Human Rights

I feel that quote is spot on. I'll end this section with a quote that suits these empathy lacking knowitalls very well:

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people always so full of doubts." . Bertrand Russell

Another example is when an image says one thing, and someone just writes a random comment that has nothing to do with it, like this image I saw of Madonna the other day, where she was quoted "Something bla bla say what you want to get what you want", and some woman made a comment about good friends and how hard they are to come by (clearly under the impression that what she said was deeply profound). I just can't wrap my head around exactly where she thought it was relevant.

There are so many cases of this, and I didn't begin to cover even the very tip of the iceberg, so if you have an example of this that you're dying to get off your chest, feel free to post about it in the comment section, or if you're feeling really witty, write a random, unrelated anecdote about your farming days in Venezuela.

Food For Fight

OK, I completely relapsed today. I'm supposed to be eating less bad food, exercising more, and just generally being healthier, but apparently that's not inshallah. I did OK at work. Didn't eat too much. Even had a salad. Then I get home and all hell breaks loose. First, I lay my greedy eyes (and fists) on a pack of sour creme and onion chips. After feasting on that for a while, I turn my attention to the fridge where, lo and behold, there is the God of all chocolate: TOBLERONE. I eat more than an entire Toblerone all by myself (ironically, this is also how I'll end up if I keep eating like this), only to finish it off by having steak and fries for dinner, immediately after which I go to sleep for 4 hours, wake up, eat more chips, more dinner, a breakfast thing there is no English name for (but it contains plenty of calories, trust me), and topped it all of with cookies. Right now I'm drinking a cappuccino, hoping against hope that I won't eat the mashed potatoes I've been eye humping for the past 10 minutes.

Vacuum Violence

OK, I decided it was time to clean. I've been moving some things around, decluttering and all that feng shui harmony-in-your-home shit, and I figured "Hey, you own a vacuum cleaner, why not use it?"

Me and my "great ideas".

First of all, my eyes are BURNING. I am apparently highly allergic to dust, so right now I'm sitting here, my entire face and body itching, throat is sore and scratchy, and MY EYES ARE BURNING. Oh, I wrote that twice? Well I have two eyes, and they're both on fire! I'll probably wake up with a rash everywhere! Thank God for Elizabeth Arden's 8 Hour Cream!

As if all of this wasn't enough, I was also assaulted. I am on the floor, doing my thing, sucking away (he he), and apparently I have gone too far away from the vacuum cleaner or something, because suddenly this machine is all over my back, trying to get it on; I manage a small yelp of fear, because for a split second I think it's trying to rape me, and the idea of getting raped by a vacuum cleaner is just one of the scariest thoughts ever, considering the considerable length of the equipment. Needless to say, the only one doing any cleaning around here ever again, is going to be Consuela.

Train Travesties

So I was on the subway a few hours ago, and as I'm sitting there minding my own business, this extraordinarily hot businessman walks in and sits down opposite me. He looks at me and smiles, and I manage an unconvincing grimace. Trying to regain my composure, I pick my jaw up off the floor, gently shake my head, blink, and try to not look at him too much. This, however, proved to be impossible. I could not stop looking, but it was OK; I had just been outside, so my eyes were covered... or so I thought. After sitting there staring at him as though I was trying to beat some Guinness world record, he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, which catches my attention, but I don't think much of it. It was very warm on subway, and we were all uncomfortable. After a while, I need to get my phone, but as I open my bag I find only pure humiliation staring me in the face: there, neatly laying on top of everything else, were my sunglasses. Needless to say, I killed myself afterwards, and am writing this from the Beyond.

The American Idol Syndrome

Why do people insist on doing things they are bad at? I was just innocently listening to music on Youtube, and for some mysterious reason (OK, I like to read troll comments) I started browsing the comments, and there it was: "Hey, please watch my videos, I'm working really hard to be super entertaining, bla bla bla." For some other mysterious reason I decided that today was going to be the day that I was going to ignore the clenched feeling in my gut, go ahead and press on that user's channel, against all my better judgement/ESP. Scarred for life. Let me just say this: I'm not one to mind long videos on Youtube. At all. If they're funny, then by all means. This dude wasn't. I could tell by his first sentence, and yet I continued to watch for another two horrifying minutes before, finally, my survival instinct kicked in; I reacted instinctively (albeit delayed) and, in an almost out of body experience kind of way, managed to shut the window down. At first, I was just staring at my screen, quite sure that I would never regain full control of my mind and body again. Then, as the shock wore off, I started to get annoyed. Why on earth did this person decide to start making videos? He wasn't bad in a "I just started out kind of way". He just wasn't interesting, funny, or otherwise entertaining. Actually, he was the closest I've ever come to shooting myself, and yet the video I was watching about annoying things people do on Facebook (which should be an easy win for any half-talented dimwit of a comic) was about 7 minutes long. I kid you not! God forbid this person ever feels the need to make a motivational video, lest any and all activities in the world be stopped. It was *that* bad. The first example was something about profile pictures being temporary and how that was annoying because "who has permanent profile pics? I mean... what's up with that?" You know when someone opens with that, you're in for something about as enjoyable as waterboarding. Moral of the story: If  you're going to be begging people to watch your channel on Youtube by commenting on other videos, please make sure that you don't have the personality of a door.