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The Thrilling Tales of Cah Cah: November 2013

Friday, November 15, 2013

Messy Messages from Maceman

I just read a very disturbing article here, that introduced me to this Christian speaker, who does everything from making excuses for rape..:

 In his book, Dateable, which he describes as a “#1 bestseller” and directs at teenage girls, Lookadoo writes, "Please, please don't tease us. To show us your hot little body … and then tell us we can't touch it is being a tease. You can't look that sexy and then tell us to be on our best behavior.”

..to telling girls to "get out of abusive relationships", rather than tell guys not to be abusive. I'm not saying girls shouldn't get out of abusive relationships, however, I fail to understand why there is so much focus on teaching girls not to become a victim (don't walk alone late, don't wear this, don't act like that etc) rather than teaching men not to be disgusting.
     "You can't look that sexy and then tell us to be on our best behavior.” Really? Is this the message you want to send? Contrary to popular belief, many girls dress however they want, even what is considered "provocatively", because that's how they feel comfortable. Not everyone enjoys knee long skirts, knee high boots, a turtleneck sweater, and a cardigan (AKA the Christian mommy look), so if we choose to wear short shorts and a bustier, it might just be because we feel we look good like that, without any regard for what "men" will think of us, and even less regard for what dressing "sexy" does to any of them. A lot of people might think "oh, but you are doing it for men, whether you are aware of it or not." Please. Don't underestimate the narcissism level of the average person. We are perfectly capable of dressing in the most body enhancing ways simply to marvel at our own bodies. However, if a woman dresses provocatively because she wants male attention: so what? "Male attention" and having a penis forced inside you while you're crying and screaming, trying to fight your attacker off whilst having to listen to him say things like "Come on, you know you want it", are two different things. Even if a woman were to walk down the street completely naked, there is no invitation for rape. How does what a woman wears logically have anything to do with what it allows men to do? If you're a guy reading this: if you saw an attractive, naked (or basically naked) woman walk down the street would your reaction seriously be "Hm, she's naked. Better give her what she wants. If she tries to fight it, it's just roleplay - SHE WANTS IT! Why else would she be walking naked down the street? She obviously wants to get raped."? If your answer to this is yes, I suggest you seek professional help - you're probably suffering from violent tendencies, which paired with a lack of impulse control could get really ugly.
     On the issue of telling girls to get out of abusive relationships, I'm not going to say that I don't agree. If  your man is abusing you physically, emotionally, financially, or in any other way: run! He's not going to change, and it's not your job to save him. That being said, if we focused our efforts on teaching males to respect females, rather than teaching females to avoid bad males, we might have spent our energy more efficiently. Isn't it better to prevent a problem rather than to avoid it?
     One thing that seems to be recurring as well, is that men need to be "Men" (whatever that means), and they need to be assertive (when found in women it's relabeled as "being a bitch"). While I do feel that assertiveness can be a great quality, and certainly one that can help you in your potential career, teaching assertiveness in a dating context can be considered problematic. How would that work, exactly? After a few dates, does "Can I come in?" turn into "Listen, it's been 3 dates. I'm coming in, and I'm also coming in."? Normally I wouldn't have thought of it like that, but if you pair his assertiveness with the sexy dress you're probably wearing, you really should expect to be raped, only it's not rape because you want it. Also, it's your own fault. He's just a man. You can't really expect him to be on his best behaviour, remember?
     On a last note:




Taking advice from.. that. Enough said. If he starts giving out hair styling tips, I'm done with life. Not only does is head look like a mace, he speaks as if he's been hit in the head with one.


*BONUS PICTURE*


Maceman never truly got over the Aqua days.






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