The Definition Of Normal

If there is one concept just about everyone seems to monopolize (and obsess over) it's the concept of "normality". Very generally speaking,  people either:

1. Consider themselves perfectly normal and therefore able to provide expert witness statements judging the normality levels of other people.
2. Chronically suffer from an unsettling feeling of being abnormal and try really hard to fit in
3. Feel normal but don't want to be so they act out in every possible way (hipsters I'm talking to you).
   Or - like myself -
4. really aren't too bothered with the concept, because you know enough beautifully unique people that you have so much in common with, yet who are so much their own person that you realize you have no use for the concept of what is "normal".

I was just watching a video about some celebrity that was supposedly outed as gay. I went through the comment section and the hate that I read there was just astonishing. It's really difficult for me to grasp the amount of negative emotion you can have for people that you don't even know, based on their sexuality, skin color, gender identity, ethnicity etc. On YouTube, the comments get particularly nasty, and sometimes you have someone from one minority hating on someone from another minority, and that's where I get extra confused. If you're a black American, why would you hate a gay American (like this person in the comment section did)? I realize skin color and sexuality aren't the same, but you have equal amount of choice in the matter, and both apparently warrant a great deal of negativity, so you would think you would be more understanding towards each other. Ah, but because you're black, that is normal to you, however, you're straight, so in your mind being gay is foreign. You might never have dealt with a gay person before (that you know of), and you just think it's completely abnormal. Surely that can't be compared to skin color! Tell you what - it can. I am from a small country with a guesstimated 99% white population, and there are people there who before the arrival of electronic media tools (which took longer in my country than most other places) had never seen a black person before. To them, being black was definitely not "normal". Does them not experiencing black people as "normal" change that fact that being black is normal? Of course not! Likewise, a straight person experiencing homosexuality as "abnormal" doesn't make it so. It really isn't hard to grasp. It's the same, just at different ends of the same spectrum. To illustrate this very simply:


Heterosexuality <---------------------> Homosexuality

Light skin <-------------------> Dark skin

Some people seem to think that all sexualities are on the same same spectrum, and you can just suddenly become something else, and therefore accepting homosexuality (as if it needs anyone's approval! It will exist regardless) will result in "immoral" behaviour. This is what they're afraid of:

Heterosexuality -> Bisexuality - > Homosexuality -> Zoophilia -> Pedophilia -> Necrophilia

It makes absolutely no sense, because these things are unrelated. Well, the first three are related, but the others? Not at all! You can be a homosexual or heterosexual pedophile, for example, because the two are unrelated! It's a completely different aspect of sexuality! You cannot, however, be a homosexual heterosexual. Why? Because heterosexuality and homosexuality are not different - they are the same, only at different ends! It's the same with skin color: we range from light as ivory to dark as ebony. It's a spectrum, and we are all on it, and just because someone isn't on the same place on the spectrum as you are, doesn't make them abnormal. It simply makes them lighter or darker. In fact, there are probably tons of other people there with them, and just because you are white and straight, everyone else doesn't have to be, and if they aren't, it doesn't mean they're abnormal! A black gay person is on the same spectrum as a white straight person, only at different ends! I know I keep repeating myself, but people seem to have such a hard time grasping this irritatingly simple concept! The main issue behind all of this is a fundamental flaw in the logic people use. The foundation of their logic is deeply rooted in the idea that they are normal, and everything that isn't in line with their views is not just abnormal to them, it is abnormal, period. When you have this attitude about life, you encounter people, for example so-called "flamboyant" gay men, and to you everything they do and say will be "weird" because you have already determined that they aren't normal. Some people substitute the word "normal" with the word "natural" and think the can claim triumph. News flash: you can't! "Being gay is not natural." Guess what: being gay is more natural than wiping your ass with toilet paper after a shit, yet nobody is complaining about that. At the end of the day (fuck I hate that phrase) it doesn't even fucking matter if it's "natural" to be gay - people are gay and it doesn't hurt anyone, so why do you care so much? I literally don't understand the obsession! It doesn't affect your life! Why do you care if people are gay? What are you so fucking afraid of?

I'm not even going to say what I'm suggesting, but I'll give you a hint: I'm suggesting you might be gay.

Those were just some of the obvious abnormality "triggers". There are also plenty of more subtle ones. When I was younger, being Atheist wasn't particularly accepted; that made me weird. I was very into pop culture, while most others around me were more into the lives of their neighbours and who was dating who in town. Again, that made me weird. Whatever my peers liked and were into, I just wasn't. I probably found them as strange as they found me, however, due to the "strength in numbers" function of normality, I was abnormal, while they were normal. Because I was not a sports loving gossip machine that believe in Jesus, but rather a book loving, entertainment driven Atheist, I was not normal. Yet the place where the greatest divide always came - and still comes - is in this: honesty. I've always been a very honest person, and I've never been afraid to "do me" regardless of how people might have perceived me for doing so, and I really believe people hated that. People who are afraid, people who are not ready for honesty, they shun it and everyone with it, especially if your honesty reflects a world they refuse to live in. Because the white, straight, Christian (and especially) male (thinks he) has the privilege to dictate what is normal and what is right. If you are any other skin color, if you are a different gender, if you have different religious beliefs (or simply lack them), if you have different interests, if you prefer a life different than the picket fence life with two kids and a dog they try to teach you, that you're not worthy of love, respect, decency, or even humanity, because you aren't  fully human. They are wrong. You are worthy of all these things! Do not let others dictate what you are worthy of, especially when they don't care about you, where you came from, what you've been through, or what you've achieved.

"Usual, standard, ordinary, expected. average."  Why would you ever aspire towards averageness?

A lot of people were born into a place where the facade of "normal" is the "norm", and while that might seem lucky to some of you from the outside, they might not be happy on the inside. Conforming doesn't necessarily equal happiness - not even for those who seem to fit in perfectly. Some people, of course, are just the dictionary definition of normal by nature, and that's also fine. There's room enough for everyone - even the completely normal ones! If you enjoyed this post please like it, share it, tweet it, blog it and all that with your friends! If you don't you're a racist homophobic white privileged man that eats children, so...


Yours,