Young Moms Who Go Out A Lot

Let me start off by saying hello to everyone! I know I've been MIA for quite a while now, but I've been so busy marrying the love of my life, having children, starting my own business, and working with various charities that I simply couldn't find the time. OK, maybe that's a slightly distorted version of what's actually happened, but you can't prove it. I hope. Fine, so I didn't meet anyone, let alone marry and have kids, but some of my friends have done (at least the kid part), and it was during a conversation with a dear friend of mine who is also fortunate enough to be the mother of a lovely son, that today's topic is inspired by.

I live in a teeny, tiny country, and if there is anything people in mosquito sized countries enjoy, it's gossip! People who live in larger countries but small communities can probably relate. Luckily I was brought up in a house where gossiping was frowned upon, and I can't remember ever hearing my parents gossip about anyone. Having spent most of my childhood in a different country, not having friends, and with parents who didn't gossip, I naturally didn't develop an affinity for it. Moving back to Gossiptopia was therefore a bit of a culture shock for me (and all these years later it still is!). One of the things that people here seem to be particularly interested in is the parenting skills of young women. You have people that are 40-something discussing whether or not a 20-something year old woman spends too much time out partying with her friends (I know, it really is quite pathetic). They aren't the only ones, however. Other 20-something year olds also have a lot to say about how these young mothers should be spending their Saturday nights, and they won't hesitate to say it to their faces. Among the many things that fascinate me about this gossip loving culture, is the activeness of their mouths, but the passiveness of their actions. A lot of these people express concern about the well being of the children. If you're so concerned, why don't you do something about it? Honestly, if you're going to be talking about this woman as if she's doing something horrible, you might as well take action. Not that I think it would lead anywhere, because truth is, in most cases there is nothing to worry about at all! The benefit of living in a tiny country is that your family is just around the corner, and a lot of the time young parents have apartments in the basement of their parents' houses. This means having free nannies grandparents who a) want you to have a life outside of dirty diapers and sleepless nights and b) love to take care of their grandchild, right there at your disposal - why not benefit from it? In most cases, these women are mothers all day, every day. The only "break" they take from motherhood is for a few hours on, say, a Saturday night/Sunday morning. They tuck in their child before leaving the house and get back before they are even aware they ever left. If the kid wakes up in the middle of the night, grandma and grandpa are there - not strangers. Why do people insist on making a big deal out of this? Why do people think this defines their parenting ability? One of my friends was called a bad mom for leaving her child in the care of her mother one Saturday night (she didn't even go out often). Here's the kicker: only reason she was out that night was because her mother had forced her, saying it was important for her to not miss her youth (this was basically what she had to do every time to get her out of the house). Bottom line: these people were calling her all sorts of names and saying very nasty stuff about her behind her back, because of her mother insisting she leave the house every so often on the weekends. Moral of the story: talk shit about their mothers. OK, so that wasn't the moral of the story. What am I, the Dalai Lama? Anyway, can we please just let these young mothers be, thanks. They are juggling enough things - work, education, (single) parenthood - without having to deal with people sticking their nose where it doesn't belong, and making up stories about how "tragic" it must be for their child that they go out. I could write a whole lot more, but I'm tired and have to get up early tomorrow, so I'll just leave it here.

It could be a lot worse, people.

If you enjoyed this post please like it and share it with your friends, tweet it, reblog it, all that good stuff. If you're a young mom, don't do all of those things though, because people will think you're too busy being on social media to worry about the well being of your child.

Yours,