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The Thrilling Tales of Cah Cah: June 2014

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Should Prostitution Be A Legal, Recognized, And Respected "Job"?

I'm watching a debate about prostitution, and the comment section is filled with people demonizing the woman speaking against prostitution because she was passionate about the cause, ridiculing her, making her out to be an idiot etc. Almost all of the comments were made by men and it got me thinking. Now, I'm not about to claim that all men are pro-prostitution, or that all men would go to a prostitute if given half the chance. What I am saying is that we have a problem when people who say that prostitution is degrading to a person and that encouraging young women to become prostitutes to support their studies is despicable, get passionate about it and are considered "hysterical". Imagine your little girl - be it a sister, daughter, cousin, niece etc. - growing up to take dick from several random strangers every day, not because she enjoyed it, but to make ends meat (pun might be intended). Of course for many men, even that thought doesn't deter them, for several reasons.


Self image

In general, men have a radically different view of themselves than women. This image illustrates it nicely:




To a woman, paying for sex would feel degrading and like an admission of her own unattractiveness. To a man, this doesn't necessarily click. Why wouldn't women want to sleep with them? The reason they resort to paying for sex is not because they're unattractive, but because women are whiny bitches that always "friend zone" them. Just the friend zone concept in general is a reflection of this self image, as it's invented to cope with being found sexually undesirable, because admitting to the truth would simply be too much.


Male chauvinism

When I was a teenager, some people that I knew went on holiday. When they got back, the girls told me stories about how they suspected some girls at a shady club might have been there against their will (trafficked), due to how young and unhappy they looked. Meanwhile, a boy from who was with them supposedly got it on with a prostitute. When I asked him about it he was neither saying nay nor yay, but had "that look" and kept glancing at the other guys with a sly smile, no doubt enjoying being 'the man' even though none of the others stooped to his level and bought sex, though they all could have. Let's face it, you're paying for it, it's not exactly an accomplishment. The kicker is, behind his back they were all talking shit about him for it, so why would no one confront him with it? What is it in "male culture" that makes speaking out against the sexual exploitation of women the wrong thing to do? I asked him how he would feel if she was a victim of trafficking and was there against her will. He said he didn't care. Which brings me to the next point...


A complete lack of respect for women

This is a societal problem. It's not just men that lack respect for women - women lack respect for women (including personal respect for ourselves as women). We're not just being reduced to whatever it is we're being reduced to; we're allowing ourselves to be reduced to this! We allow this by buying into the "fact" that we should look a certain way, that we should judge other women by this scale, that we should compete with each other for male attention, that being acknowledged by men for being beautiful is more important than being acknowledged as intelligent, well-spoken, hard working, funny, honest etc. by not only men but also each other, our fellow women. However, most women still think we deserve more than to sell ourselves for sex, whereas it appears many (I'm not saying all or even a majority of) men couldn't really care less. But even with prostitutes the thing known popularly as "female jealousy", whereby women demean each other due to jealousy, play a part. We don't like to think the men we care about would solicit the sexual favours of another woman because we are unable to satisfy them, so we blame and ridicule her, "the whore". This is due to a complete misunderstanding of what is going on. There is only one repulsive party in the sex trade industry, and that is the person paying for the services. Let me say straight away, that I understand there are people who feel they "have to" pay for sex, for example certain handicapped people feel that the only way they will ever have sex is if they pay for it, and some people with particular "tastes" feel they have to solicit sexual favours from a prostitute in order to enjoy them - I still think it's gross. I am a very sexually open person, and if people want to sell sex that's their business, but to resort to buying another person's body.. just the thought of it makes me feel queasy.


The problem doesn't reside with the service providers

There is still an ongoing debate about whether or not legalizing prostitution improves circumstances for prostitutes in the long run. I'm not qualified to answer whether or not prostitution should be legal, but I don't mind that buying sex is illegal, although I feel making it illegal should be considered superfluous. Anyone raised with a hint of dignity would never pay for another human being's body. I might be romanticizing the state of the human race when I say that but that's my prerogative. Anyway, to sum up: if I discovered a woman I knew was a prostitute, I would be respectful. If I discovered a man I knew liked to frequent prostitutes behind his wife's back (or just in general), I would probably not speak to him again. It might be his personal choice, but it's one that affects all women, and not something I'd ever want to be around. If you think it's OK to buy access to another person's body, you and I are different on a level that is so fundamental we shouldn't even bother interacting.


What about pornography?

I don't know, to be honest. The obvious difference is that you have two parties that both get paid to engage in sex with each other, women often being better paid than men in a bizarre twist. It's also not about sex at all - it's about the illusion of sex for the viewer, filled with tips and tricks to make the viewer think he's watching something amazing. While it may be pleasurable for the actors (at times), it's not about their actual pleasure, but the pleasure they portray. In that way, there is not really a division of power (ideally). Practically, the porn industry is notoriously ruthless towards women, and treats women as something disposable. What gives?

If you enjoyed this post, please like it and share it with your friends.


Yours,

Friday, June 13, 2014

Lana Del Rey Ultraviolence (Short) Review/First Impression

OK, got the entire album today, and I've spent most of my day listening to it going about my daily life, working etc. I absolutely love it. It's got everything that makes Lana who she is, but it's still updated enough that it kept me feeling "Hmm, that's interesting". The first half of the album also features a lot more head voice/a generally higher pitched Lana, which is a change in itself, while the second half has more of the low, sultry, sexy notes that we've all come to associate with her. My favourite tracks on the new album are:

1. Cruel World
2. Ultraviolence
3. Shades of Cool
4. Brooklyn Baby
5. West Coast
6. Sad Girl
7. Pretty When You Cry
8. Money Power Glory
9. Fucked My Way To The Top
10. Old Money
11. The Other Woman
12. Black Beauty
13. Guns and Roses
14. Florida Kilos
15. Is This Happiness

Yes, I realize I just listed the entire album, but I genuinely love it in its entirety. As I was trying to pick favourites I started to realize I had more songs on the list than off, and I was far from done. However, my current personal top 3, subject to change at any given time (probably will change as my mood does, and excluding West Coast because it was released as a single) are:

1. Pretty When You Cry

2. Money Power Glory

3. Old Money/The Other Woman

OK, technically that's 4, but it's my blog, I make the rules.

To my friends seeing Lana tonight: :'(

To the people wondering whether or not to buy her album: DO IT!!! If you still need more convincing, you can listen to the entire thing here:

https://soundcloud.com/lanalove77

Just remember that if you love an artist, support them by actually buying their music. They spend time, energy, and money creating stuff for us to enjoy!

If you want to read a comprehensive review/interview with Ms Lana herself, click here.


Happy Lana Del Rey Ultraviolence Release Date Day!


Yours,



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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Problem With Sinning And Arguments That End With "Because God"

If there is one thing religious lunatics (and that does not include all religious people) love to go on about it's the concept of sin. Everywhere they look people are committing sins and it's their god given right duty to inform everyone and anyone who will listen, that what they're doing is wrong while molesting children living righteous lives themselves.


Basically.


Now, I don't mind people being like this - OK who am I kidding, people like this awaken feelings of violence I didn't know I had - but what I mean is if people want to live their lives out of a book that's not Harry Potter, that's their business. When they start calling basic and quite frankly very simple concepts "madness" and "lunacy" because GOD, I get anxious. I was watching a documentary about LGBT children and the parents that love them, and some of the comments it got really irritated me. Sure, they were rude, disgusting, revolting remarks, made by really, really stupid people, but that's not what irritated me. What was it then? The use of "God" as a mental health diagnostic tool. Before I move on, let me make one thing very clear:

*Disclaimer* Out of respect for my religious friends and family, who are amazing, loving, understanding, and caring individuals, I shall try to be nice about it. While I maintain absolutely no respect for religion, religious practices, religious ideas, or just about anything that has anything to do with religion, as I find the practice of religion outdated, harmful, and very dangerous, I do respect religious people who maintain a love for their fellow man. OK, now the message.


In my humble opinion, religion is as made up as the Harry Potter books, only far less entertaining, and with much worse story lines than what good old Rowling came up with. If she'd written a religion, I'd probably find it worth belonging to, to be honest. HAIL ROWLING. OK, back to the point. Religion is complete and utter nonsense. The belief in invisible deities, magic (oh no, I'm sorry it's not "magic" it's "miracles"), and let's not forget the teaching of being ashamed of and hating just about everything that makes us human, is absolutely incomprehensible to me, but then again I'm very comfortable with being a human being and the bodily desires that comes with it.


We're all just human beans, elderpeoplechildren.


However, as with everything else, if that's what you want to do in your private life, I'm fine with it. Do I wish religion was eradicated? Yes. Do I think it should be banned? Yes No! OK, I do, I do! I fucking hate religion! But would I ever support any initiative that wanted to ban religion? NO! Because I think people should be free to live their lives exactly how they want! If that includes vengeful invisible sky wizards and magic tricks, that's fine! *Oprah voice* HOWEVEEEEEEEER! When these people start passing laws, limiting rights, and even quoting their holy books in what is supposed to be intellectual debates, shit has gone far enough. How did we end up in a world, where in 2014 religion is still taken so seriously that politicians get to use it as their election strategy? I can't make sense of it! I imagine it's because of this apparent acceptance of religion as something perfectly reasonable that they feel it's OK to label something as "madness because God", having spent no time at all even bothering to understand the by now pretty well understood mechanics of these things. The distinction between these people, and other religious people who "disagree" with the "lifestyle choices" made by some is that if you simply say "I disagree because God", you're only expressing your own opinion, and freely admitting to how uneducated that opinion is. I prefer this to adopting scientific terminology, hiding behind titles of Dr Something, and then saying something like "Homosexuality is not biological. The evidence for it is futile at best. Besides, God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. It's a sin." See the difference?


Are we really going to listen to these people? Their attempts at reasoning seldom produce anything solid.


This brings us to the concept of "sin". I can tell you right now that I have done and still do a lot of things considered to be very sinful. Does that mean I'm doing anything harmful or wrong? No. I'm not religious, therefore these things don't apply to me (whether you'd like them to or not). I have many gay friends. They are ALL sinners before GOD. Does that mean that what and who they are is wrong in any way, shape or form? No! From, say a Christian point of view, they are all sinners etc., but from a scientific point of view (from which I look at the world) there is nothing wrong with being gay. In fact, science doesn't even bother to consider this. What we are looking for is what causes some people to be heterosexual and others to be homosexual because it's interesting and is another mystery to solve. From this point of view, there is nothing wrong with having multiple sexual partners either. In fact, I encourage you to explore your sexuality if you so desire. If not, then don't. That's the beauty of being free - you get to choose your own life and you get to decide what is right for you, yourself!


If Dobby can do it, so can you!


"At the end of the day" (that saying is so annoying) it wouldn't even matter if being gay or transgender was a lifestyle choice in the same way that choosing the amount of sexual partners you have is. Why should it bother the rest of us? Why do people care? I suggest you fill up your existence with enriching activities and stop worrying so much about other people (this coming from a girl with a blog - the irony is not lost on me!).


If you enjoyed this post, like and share it, tweet it, do whatever you do on bloglovin', +1 it on google+, all those sinful activities that will get you smitten.


Yours,



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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Young Moms Who Go Out A Lot

Let me start off by saying hello to everyone! I know I've been MIA for quite a while now, but I've been so busy marrying the love of my life, having children, starting my own business, and working with various charities that I simply couldn't find the time. OK, maybe that's a slightly distorted version of what's actually happened, but you can't prove it. I hope. Fine, so I didn't meet anyone, let alone marry and have kids, but some of my friends have done (at least the kid part), and it was during a conversation with a dear friend of mine who is also fortunate enough to be the mother of a lovely son, that today's topic is inspired by.


I live in a teeny, tiny country, and if there is anything people in mosquito sized countries enjoy, it's gossip! People who live in larger countries but small communities can probably relate. Luckily I was brought up in a house where gossiping was frowned upon, and I can't remember ever hearing my parents gossip about anyone. Having spent most of my childhood in a different country, not having friends, and with parents who didn't gossip, I naturally didn't develop an affinity for it. Moving back to Gossiptopia was therefore a bit of a culture shock for me (and all these years later it still is!). One of the things that people here seem to be particularly interested in is the parenting skills of young women. You have people that are 40-something discussing whether or not a 20-something year old woman spends too much time out partying with her friends (I know, it really is quite pathetic). They aren't the only ones, however. Other 20-something year olds also have a lot to say about how these young mothers should be spending their Saturday nights, and they won't hesitate to say it to their faces. Among the many things that fascinate me about this gossip loving culture, is the activeness of their mouths, but the passiveness of their actions. A lot of these people express concern about the well being of the children. If you're so concerned, why don't you do something about it? Honestly, if you're going to be talking about this woman as if she's doing something horrible, you might as well take action. Not that I think it would lead anywhere, because truth is, in most cases there is nothing to worry about at all! The benefit of living in a tiny country is that your family is just around the corner, and a lot of the time young parents have apartments in the basement of their parents' houses. This means having free nannies grandparents who a) want you to have a life outside of dirty diapers and sleepless nights and b) love to take care of their grandchild, right there at your disposal - why not benefit from it? In most cases, these women are mothers all day, every day. The only "break" they take from motherhood is for a few hours on, say, a Saturday night/Sunday morning. They tuck in their child before leaving the house and get back before they are even aware they ever left. If the kid wakes up in the middle of the night, grandma and grandpa are there - not strangers. Why do people insist on making a big deal out of this? Why do people think this defines their parenting ability? One of my friends was called a bad mom for leaving her child in the care of her mother one Saturday night (she didn't even go out often). Here's the kicker: only reason she was out that night was because her mother had forced her, saying it was important for her to not miss her youth (this was basically what she had to do every time to get her out of the house). Bottom line: these people were calling her all sorts of names and saying very nasty stuff about her behind her back, because of her mother insisting she leave the house every so often on the weekends. Moral of the story: talk shit about their mothers. OK, so that wasn't the moral of the story. What am I, the Dalai Lama? Anyway, can we please just let these young mothers be, thanks. They are juggling enough things - work, education, (single) parenthood - without having to deal with people sticking their nose where it doesn't belong, and making up stories about how "tragic" it must be for their child that they go out. I could write a whole lot more, but I'm tired and have to get up early tomorrow, so I'll just leave it here.


It could be a lot worse, people.


If you enjoyed this post please like it and share it with your friends, tweet it, reblog it, all that good stuff. If you're a young mom, don't do all of those things though, because people will think you're too busy being on social media to worry about the well being of your child.


Yours,



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